Performing CPR... on a Seagull?!!
I have now lived here at the seaside in Kent for 40 years, give or take a month or two. I first came to Folkestone in 1986, primarily for work purposes and, I never really left even though I took early retirement from my salaried job in 2009. But there's always been one set of residents in this town that I have never been able to get on with. Seagulls. Yes, you are correct in assuming that they are part and parcel of living on the coast and yes, they were here long before me or my cars were. I learnt pretty much early on in my adopted town that, you do not eat while out in the open, nor do you wash and wax your car while the shitehawks are gathered on nearby rooftops and are watching your every move and poised to attack. Seagulls are vermin, the scavenging rats of the sky. They will swoop down without a moment's grace and pinch your sausage or chips from the very bag or newspaper that you are eating them from. They repaint your car, caravan or transit van a shade of mixed white...