Cor Blimey, Guv'nor!

In all the years that I lived in St Mary Cray and Orpington, I always thought that the town was north of the village. I also thought that Bromley was more north towards London than the pair of them. However, having looked at an old map of north-west Kent in recent months, it transpires that St Mary Cray is more north than Orpington and that Bromley lies parallel due west to St Mary Cray and not to the north. I found that quite fascinating.

Of course, back before 1965, the village of St Mary Cray and the towns of Orpington and Bromley were always in Kent. The maps of the time tell us so. Not only that but, I was born in Kent (Farnborough Hospital) but was reclassified as a Londoner after 1965. No wonder I'm a confused man.

Add to this the fact that Cray Wanderers now play in what is officially known as a Chislehurst location, even though Flamingo Park is situated on the Sidcup Bypass, and I can state quite categorically that nothing makes sense anymore.

Take, for instance, a works course I was on once in Dover. Part of a role-playing exercise was to complete an instruction sheet of about 20 things to achieve. One of the items was "speak to a Cockney about their time living in London", so everyone on the course converged on me! Of course, I quickly had to advise everyone that (a) I was born in Kent, (b) I am only an adopted Londoner and (c) I'm only a son of a Cockney. That turned the course a bit flat and suddenly everyone lost their enthusiasm about doing the exercise.

It also provoked one wag to get a t-shirt done for me that read 'Adopted Londoner' on it. Furthermore, someone else on the course went one step beyond and presented me with a t-shirt that read 'Cockney & Son' on it.

At birth, I was neither a Londoner nor a Cockney, as Farnborough Hospital was very definitely in Kent; other people's perceptions have decided my origins by assuming I was a Londoner and a Cockney, based I wouldn't wonder on the confusion caused by the spreading of the Greater London boundary in 1965. However, I have a London accent, yes. I speak a lot of the time in Cockney rhyming slang, yes. I worked in London for many years, yes. Our home in Kedleston Drive, Orpington, was officially classed as being within the Greater London boundary from 1965, yes. But those are my limitations to being a Londoner. I picked up my London accent and Cockney rhyming slang habit from my dad who was a real Cockney Londoner born and bred (so was my mum), my accent was further honed during the many years I worked in the City and, somebody moved the Greater London boundary in 1965. Hardly any of that is my fault.

And here's another fact. Not once in my many, many years of being a Cray Wanderers supporter has the club to my knowledge ever claimed to be the oldest football club in Kent, which they are also entitled to claim, at least before 1965. Add onto that the fact that, even in these enlightened times, the postal addresses for St Mary Cray, Orpington, Chislehurst, Bromley and Sidcup are still classed as being in Kent. So, with that in mind, Cray Wanderers FC is the oldest football club in Kent. As well as London.

In the next instalment, I might tell you about my family tree and how I found out that my four times great grandad on my dad's side, was born, bred, lived, worked and died in Shoreditch, East London. Which makes me a descendant of a whole line of... Cockney Londoners!